Entwined Paroxysm
by Shiroi Hoshi
Summary: Sequel to Silent Atonement. Both butler and master are reunited after centuries of separation. Sebastian finds his precious Master at their farewell spot, but Ciel has forgotten him. And Sebastian will do anything in his power to make him remember.
1. Prologue

**Hello (: I have read all your reviews… and yeah, since some of you guys requested a sequel (though this totally ruins the awesome cliffhanger ending I painstakingly crafted for Silent Atonement, I guess even I can't be that cruel and leave Ciel and Sebastian like that.) I PRESENT YOU THE PROLOGUE of this sequel.**

I remembered feeling cold. I remembered the way the ice burned into my skin as I watched the endless shower of snowflakes falling before my eyes. The sky was a brilliant inky black, dotted with uncountable diamonds. But I was leaving. I was leaving my consciousness behind, just as everything was starting to fall back into place, just when everything felt right.

But it was my fault after all.

I remembered reaching out with my hand to grasp at whatever memories there were left in the snow. Grasping at the bare fallen branches on the ground, half buried. It made me wonder how trees felt like. But there was no life pulsating through the fallen wood, and the ground was too thick with snow for me to draw in the warmth of the earth.

I remembered as my vision blurred and faded, as the grip of my hand on the snow slackened, I was trying to stay awake. Somewhere deep in the recesses of my misted-over mind, I knew there was something that I was waiting for. And I had to wait, no matter how long.

And the world turned into a vortex, hungrily pulling all energy from me, and I was falling, falling, hurling, tumbling, and disappearing, into this void of fathomless tribulation, where even shadows ceased to exist.

**A/N: Okay, this is just a prologue. Just 200 words give and take some. It's obvious whose point of view it's from :D I'm still depressed over softball so give me time to update. Oh look, I have somewhat abandoned my spirited away fanfic. Whatever :D Kuroshitsuji is just so much more awesome, right :D Okay, so ****please give me comments: tell me how I can improve on this, suggestions for the plot, (actually I already have one, but maybe I can extract some of your ideas?) and what you like about it so far including Silent Atonement. ****I don't mind reviews calling me awesome either. (Well yeah, I'm egoistic, my bad :D) LOVE YOU ALL (:**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hmm. I'm still wondering what I can write… if it's weird, bear with me :D and I'm depressed because my exams are over. Yes that's weird, but if my exams are over, then there's no more break from CCA, and if that's the case, I have to go back for softball training and yes it makes me so depressed I just tend to sit around and mope all day :\ yeah well T_T I hope you guys find chapter 1 okay. **

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><p>Ciel Phantomhive opened his cerulean eyes and registered the ceiling above him. His heavy dark velvet curtains were still drawn, so it was still much too dark to see all the way to the top. He lay in bed with the covers over himself, wondering if there was something he was supposed to be doing.<p>

He had dreamt that he was someplace cold, waiting for something. He had been waiting and waiting and waiting for something that never came—and he still had no idea at all what he had been waiting for.

The urge to remain in that spot and wait; that was the only feeling he had. And so strong was that urge it overpowered his senses and riddled his mind senseless. It made him foolish enough stay motionless in someplace cold, waiting, and relying on instincts alone.

It had felt like years.

He stretched, his bangs falling over one eye, and in the moment of dizziness between lying down and sitting up after waking up in the morning, a hazy scene, the very essence of a memory, flashed through his drowsy mind.

'_Bocchan, it's time to awaken.'_

_A flash of light so bright it penetrated the safety of his eyelids and pinpricks of brightness assaulted his darkened vision._

_Grunting, he sat up and rubbed his mismatched eyes. A dull expression was plastered onto his face._

_An unidentified man with black hair glided across the bedroom floor, pushing a cart. 'Bocchan, it's Jackson's Earl Grey, and your choice of chocolate muffins or blueberry scones.'_

'_Scones,' the boy said offhandedly._

'_Yes, my Lord,' the man said, getting down on one knee and holding a hand to his heart._

_When he looked up, the boy could see the crimson flash in his eyes._

Ciel froze. The boy in the memory was undeniably himself, but who was that man? He looked and acted like a butler, who was definitely common for the master of the Phantomhive Household, but Ciel had felt something different for that particular servant. It was almost as if their existences were bound to each other. He had felt a bond so strong he could not describe it in words.

Shaking it off, he swung his legs over the side of his bed.

And the door opened.

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><p>Sebastian was surprised to see Ciel up before he had woken him up.<p>

Ciel continued to stare at Sebastian, not even giving a snide remark like he usually would.

'My, my, Bocchan, aren't we early today?'

No answer.

'Bocchan, are you feeling unwell today?'

'I'm fine.'

'Is that right? Well then, Bocchan. It's Jackson's Earl Grey today and your choice of chocolate muffins or blueberry scones.'

Sebastian saw Ciel's eyes widen significantly and the look of shock on his face intensified.

'…Bocchan?'

'You're…' Ciel's voice cracked. 'You're…' he shut his sapphire orbs and squeezed them tightly, shaking his head slowly.

'Bocchan, is there anything wrong?' the butler started towards his master, a slight frown on his face, his eyes mildly narrowed.

'Wait.'

Sebastian paused in his movement.

Ciel opened his eyes and Sebastian's hands started to tremble, clenching them.

'Bocchan… your—'

'Shut up, you're a servant aren't you? Why are you talking back to me?' Ciel's arrogance was familiar to the demon, and comforting, but it was not right. 'And I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?'

Sebastian remained silent, rage radiating from him like a dark aura. 'Bocchan…your eyes…'

'Who are you?'

The demon was rendered speechless.

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><p>(see, LovelyWickedDescet, I took your advice :D and others thanks for reviewing you know i love you XD)<p>

**A/N: Hmm. It's kind of weird, this chapter, really. I shall start on chapter 2 right away :D so wait for chapter 2 it'll come out today as well. Please review. I really need feedback. You guys who read and subscribe to this story, you know I know who you are because you know very well I get notifications every time you subscribe –tries to sound threatening- IM GONNA GET YOU IF YOU DON'T REVIEW! –bursts into laughter- guess in the end, being threatening just isn't me. I'm more of the egoistic kind :D I know im awesome and you can't help reviewing :D –pukes-**


	3. Chapter 2

**So…kind of depressed now for making Ciel forget our dear Sebastian T_T nooo Ciel, that's so mean! (Blames Ciel instead) I'd like reviews, really… I need to know how on earth can I make this story more interesting. I think all I've done up till now is just writing emo things. And making other people depressed -.- **

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><p>The adamant sapphire eyes fixed themselves on Sebastian, almost taunting him with their color.<p>

'Bocchan. You've forgotten me.'

Ciel could tell that the man was not asking him a question, but instead stating a fact. Indeed, Ciel could not remember who he was, but he felt somewhat connected and drawn to his enigmatic personality and ways, and he wanted to know more. And if possible, get his memories back.

'I'm sorry, but who are you?'

Sebastian gritted his teeth. 'May I suggest the young master stop playing games?'

'Answer me.'

Sebastian wanted desperately for Ciel to give him an order. To show in some way or another that they were still connected to each other.

'I am your butler, Bocchan.'

'My… butler?'

'Yes, my Lord.'

Ciel started again. _Yes, my Lord…_ an almost nostalgic feeling overwhelmed him. It sounded so familiar, so comforting. And so…

'Sebastian.'

The said butler's head snapped up. 'Yes, Bocchan?'

'I think it's a name of someone I used to know. I just felt like saying it.' And it felt right on his lips.

Ciel slid off from the bed and faced the taller man. 'Anyway, I believe we haven't introduced ourselves.'

The numb feeling in Sebastian was threatening to break his calm façade, but he smirked and extended a gloved hand. 'Of course, Bocchan, I am Sebastian Michaelis, butler of the Phantomhive Household. Pleased to be of service.'

'Sebastian…Michaelis…?'

_It sounds as if I've heard it somewhere before. I have definitely heard it before. But where? When?_

'I am Ciel Phantomhive, head of the—'

'I know that, Bocchan,' Sebastian cut in smoothly.

'Did you just interrupt me?'

'My apologies, Bocchan, but would you like to get dressed now?'

Ciel studied his face for a few moments and reached for his ring, sliding it onto his finger.

Sebastian noticed that Ciel didn't touch the eye patch on the bedside table. _Bocchan wouldn't need it anyway. _

Ciel slid his feet into his boots and bent down to button and lace them himself, leaving Sebastian standing awkwardly at his side, one of the rare times he did not know what to do.

When Ciel was dressed, he walked towards the door and opened it, turning back to Sebastian. 'You. Come with me.'

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><p>Sebastian followed Ciel into his study and stood in front of his desk while Ciel sat behind the tabletop littered with papers and envelopes.<p>

Familiar-looking envelopes with 'Sebastian Michaelis' and 'Ciel Phantomhive' hand printed on them.

Ciel stopped to stare at them, before reaching out and opening an envelope addressed to him. His eyes ran over the page as he scanned the words, widening as he approached the end of the letter.

'Bocchan.'

Ciel looked up. 'Who are you, really?' his tone was emotionless and cold. 'Why is it that I know there's something I should know, but I just can't put a finger on it?' he tossed the envelope back on the table. 'Why does it feel as if there's a part of my mind that's…gone?'

'Bocchan, you must have forgotten something important.' Sebastian's scarlet eyes regarded Ciel with irritation and a slight bit of desperation. 'I'm sure if you try hard to remember, the memories will come back eventually.'

'I guess so.'

'Bocchan, may I ask why you have decided not to wear your eye patch anymore?'

'What eye patch? Why do I have to wear such a thing?'

Sebastian turned around. 'I was just asking. You used to wear that eye patch.' _When you wanted to cover the eye that bore the Faustian contract. When you wanted to hide it. But if it's no longer there, you have no reason to wear it anymore. I should know that, but Bocchan, how could you forget everything?_

Sebastian shut the door quietly and leaned against the wall outside. He slid his glove off and examined the pale, smooth, unblemished skin that once held the oath of the Faustian contract. He missed the way it burned when he had to fulfill an order. He missed the feeling, the way he used to thirst for Ciel's soul.

And now that Ciel was no longer a demon, or bound to any demon's contract, it meant his soul, the soul with the enticing, tempting flavor tainted with sorrow, desperation and the desire of revenge etched deep into it was once again available for his consumption.

And Sebastian was going to get it.

He was not about to lose it again.

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><p><strong>AN: okay here's the chapter! See, I kept my promise :D coz im awesome. But I probably won't update very soon. Training starts again next week. But maybe, MAYBE, if I get 10 reviews I'll try my best to update sooner. So I have 8 reviews. When I see you next, I should have 18 XD (muahahaha evil laughter).**


	4. Chapter 3

**People, hello (: I'm not that mean after all. LOOK, I'm back, even though I don't have 18 reviews, I'm just too nice after all :D (ego ego ego ego inflate inflate). **

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><p>The Phantomhive Mansion was quiet. The ticking of the grandfather clock in an dead silent room unnerved Ciel, and he opened the door, peering out into the corridor. Closing the door as gently as he could, his footsteps were muffled by the thick carpets layering the ground as he headed towards the grand staircase.<p>

'Bocchan.'

Ciel froze, his knees buckling. There was something about the mysteriously familiar butler who claimed for Ciel to have lost his memory that made Ciel want to run away. The man was dangerous, and Ciel knew that. But the Young Earl could not escape.

Sebastian was behind Ciel, breaking his fall even before Ciel could register his presence. The butler was like a demon, with unbelievable speed and reflexes, almost to otherworldly to be considered human.

'Bocchan, please be careful. What would I do if you were to injure yourself?'

'How… how did you get here so fast?' Ciel's voice trembled slightly, but he kept his calm as he stood up properly.

'If the butler of the Phantomhive Household fails to save his master from a minor accident, where would we be?' Sebastian flashed a grin at Ciel, placing his hand on his heart and bowing. 'I will be at your service.'

Ciel started to take a few steps backwards.

'Whenever Bocchan is in trouble, just call for me. Wherever you may be, however serious and impossible your situation is, call for me.'

'It's not like you'll come if I'm ten thousand miles away. I'll just be wasting my voice.' Ciel turned and walked down the staircase, disappearing out the door.

Sebastian remained in his position and spot, his expression shadowed.

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><p>Ciel raced through the garden and into the woods. It had been a long time since he ran at all, and he could not remember when his last time was, but the impulse to run, as far away as possible overtook his senses. He struggled through the thorny bushes and slid through the slippery puddles.<p>

He just kept running.

A single fallen vine seemed to appear on the ground before him, and his leg got caught in it, twisted, bound.

His whole body hurled forward, revealing an open space and a plunging ledge straight into the ocean almost a hundred and twenty feet below.

As the wind whipped in his face, he closed both eyes and cleared his mind—instinct took over, as his old body and mind had been so used to.

He snapped his right eye open, a fierce purple light flashed cruelly in his eye—the mark of the Faustian contract. It had returned. His soul had unconsciously, without his body noticing, formed another contract with the demon he had been so close to.

Ciel couldn't remember anything still, but the familiar taste of the words on his lips would not allow him to forget it.

'_Sebastian, this is an order: save me!'_

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><p><strong>AN: OKAY! IT'S A CLIFFIE! MUAHAHAHA. Review or this is all you'll get from this super busy, super idiotic person here :D I LOVE YOU GUYS.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Sorry about the excruciatingly short previous chapter (: it pains me as well. I couldn't sleep, wondering what would happen to Ciel (I was thinking of a plot) so I present you my weekend special :D enjoyy. **

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><p>Sebastian was below Ciel in a flash, as cliché as it might sound. The searing fire that embedded itself into the back of the demon had immediately given him the idea of what had happened.<p>

Ciel's eyes were opened wide, the Faustian contract gleaming in an intimidating fashion, but the had lost consciousness, and with a dark chuckle and shadowed smirk, the butler returned to the mansion.

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><p>Ciel awoke to the painfully familiar aroma of Earl Grey and chocolate muffins.<p>

He turned to his side and saw his butler standing beside his bed. '…Seba…Sebastian?'

'Bocchan, are you feeling much better now?'

Ciel bolted upwards to a sitting position, holding his right eye, which still burnt uncontrollably. '…what?...'

'Bocchan, you might not realize it, but you've just made a contract with me.' Sebastian's tone was serious. 'That is not supposed to be possible, since we have not yet discussed and agreed upon what I have to do for you in return for your soul.'

'What…the hell…are you talking about,' Ciel hissed, squeezing the right eye as tightly as he could. 'It…hurts…'

'It will be gone soon enough,' the butler reassured the writhing earl. 'Would Bocchan care for some refreshments? Perhaps some Earl Grey will calm you down.'

Ciel accepted the cup of aromatic tea, feeling the steaming liquid slide down his parched throat, burning his tongue, and distracting him from the pain in his eye.

Sebastian observed the boy, his features, his slim built, his hazy eyes clouded with sleep, the way he sipped his tea. Every movement he found unchanged from the Bocchan of before was another stab in the cold heart of his. When had he degraded to such an emotional being?

Then the mismatched eyes shifted to Sebastian, and Ciel mesmerized himself by staring at the flawless face.

_Why do I keep thinking that I once knew him very well? And what's that contract he was talking about? And what exactly is this pain in my eye?_

Sebastian reached out to take the empty cup from the stunned boy, and handed him a small muffin. 'Bocchan, you need to grow more. You're too small for someone your age.'

'How old am I?' Ciel realized. 'I don't even know my age.'

'Bocchan, your amnesia is really bad.'

'So, how old am I?'

_Centuries old, Bocchan. You're centuries old. _

The demon did not know what to say.

'Bocchan is… thirteen this year.'

'When was my last birthday?'

The innocence in the Young Earl's eyes frustrated the demon to his limits. How could such a thing happen to Ciel? How could he forget everything?

'It was…' Sebastian debated with himself if he should reveal the truth.

_No… too much stress and the amnesia will get worse._

'It was right before you got amnesia, Bocchan. It was…Christmas Eve.'

'My birthday is on… Christmas Eve?'

'Yes, Bocchan. It is.' _No, Bocchan, it isn't._

'Oh.'

Ciel frowned. _My birthday isn't on Christmas Eve._ _But… there's no way I can know that. But I know it's in December… but how would I know that?_

'Bocchan?'

Ciel turned to him.

'Happy Birthday.'

'Wh…what?' Ciel glanced at the calendar. The fourteenth of December. 'It's not the twenty-fourth yet!'

'Ah, but Bocchan, why don't we celebrate your birthday today, and Christmas Eve on the day itself?' Sebastian smirked. _Today is Bocchan's real birthday. But I must not tell him that. Why did I lie in the first place? Why did I just tell him it was today? Was it because I was afraid he'd gain his memories of the incident with his parents? Was it because I was afraid he'd toss me aside?_

Ciel finished his muffin. 'Anything.'

Sebastian brushed the crumbs off Ciel's mouth with a napkin. He looked absolutely adorable. The Young Earl of Phantomhive Household had always been adorable.

Ciel's forehead was scrunched up in concentration as he tried to remember something vague. 'Ah.'

Sebastian looked up.

'What was the contract you were talking about just now?' he flashbacked to when he had almost fallen off the cliff. What had happened after that? Why was he in the room?

'Bocchan… that is…' Sebastian's perfectly controlled façade cracked a little and he thought of something to say. 'It's an exchange that I do. I help my master achieve a certain goal that he wants—anything at all, and in exchange, he will give me his soul once the task is accomplished.'

Something jerked in Ciel's memories. '…you're not human,' he whispered in shock.

Sebastian raised an elegant eyebrow. 'Pardon, Bocchan?'

'You're not human, Sebastian. You're not human aren't you?'

'…well, technically I am, but I am not.'

'Then…' Ciel didn't know if he wanted to know, or to just let the truth stay concealed. '…who are you? _What _are you?'

'Bocchan,' Sebastian stood up. 'I am a demon.'

'So that means…' Ciel didn't even flinch at the word. 'You are supposed to help me achieve something I want, and in return, you get my soul when it's complete?'

'Yes, Bocchan. That's it.'

Ciel turned away to weigh his options. Even if he were to break the contract, he seemed like a lonesome enough person in the past to want to stay all alone with a demon. And if he accepted the contract—which he already had—he had nothing to lose, except his soul, and in return, he could get anything.

'Sebastian. This is an order.'

The demon butler was stunned at the sudden change in tone and character of the boy. He was acting like how he used to. Had his memories returned?

'What is it, Bocchan?'

'You will help me regain my memories.' The seal in Ciel's left eye glowed ominously.

Simultaneously, the seal on Sebastian's gloved hand burned with venomous heat. Smirking, the demon got down on one knee, bringing the contract hand to his chest. 'Yes, my Lord. I will protect you until you have fulfill that desire.'

'And in return, you will have my soul,' Ciel stated, without hesitation and fear, a bit of old light returning to his once again mismatched eyes.

'Yes, my Lord.'

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><p><strong>AN: finally. Updated! It's not long. But I made it past a thousand words. I myself find it a great accomplishment. I spent Friday plotting it and I touched it up today… so enjoy! Though I could have updated yesterday if I hadn't been so obsessed and driven with my Gintama oneshot. I'm sorry! And please review! I LOVE YOU :D**


	6. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry. I was obsessed with my Gintama fic so I sort of abandoned poor Ciel and Sebastian T.T I'm SORRY FORGIVE MEE. **

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><p>Sebastian knocked on the heavy doors of Ciel's bedchamber.<p>

'Come in.'

The butler balanced the tray of tea on one hand and opened the door with another. The Earl was sitting behind the huge desk, surrounded with paperwork that was due centuries ago. The single sapphire eye scanned the stacks of documents in distaste and confusion.

Sebastian smirked. His Bocchan was reverting back to normal more and more everyday. 'Is Bocchan looking at those?'

'Yeah.' Ciel slammed the paperweight over the letters and groaned in annoyance. 'It's no use. I can't remember anything.'

Sebastian studied the boy.

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><p>When Sebastian found Ciel under the tree, still, the first thought was that he was dead. The young demon was dead. But upon closer observation, he found that the boy was still breathing. In one swift motion, Ciel was in his arms and they were heading back to the mansion.<p>

The little girl and her mother had probably left the moment the girl found her parent; there was no trace of life in the Phantomhive Mansion. Everything was quiet, a layer of dust settling over every single exposed surface—paintings, tables, chairs, carpets, everything.

After he placed Ciel in a corner of the house, he set about making the slightest evidence of dust disappear. With his demonic speed and strength, the mansion looked as if it had never been vacated before. Tables shone with oil, and chairs were bright and clean. The wooden floors sparkled with polish, and the carpets showed every single delicate pattern they had.

After tucking the boy into a well-made bed, he sat down on a chair beside him. All those years in the cold, the boy had probably been frozen stiff. There was no guarantee he would ever wake up, but Sebastian bathed him in hot water and dressed him in warm, ironed clothes, and waited.

He waited for a year.

And the day Ciel finally opened his eyes was the day the demon butler's hell ended.

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><p>'It's all right, Bocchan. You will remember eventually,' the demon reassured the Earl.<p>

'Sebastian.'

'Yes, Bocchan?'

'I want something sweet.'

'Understood, Bocchan.'

Sebastian excused himself after the customary pledge and exited the room, his footsteps echoing softly on the carpets of the corridor.

Ciel stared at the earl grey before him and lifted the cup to his lips, taking a long sip. _I don't know why I like this tea and sweet things so much, but my body just feels drawn to them. As if they're craving for it…_

He stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside. The sky was cloudless and the trees were bent in the strong wind. Ciel couldn't tell if it was going to be a good weather or a storm, seeing as there were no storm clouds, but yet strong winds were blowing loose leaves around in a violent swirl.

Turning back to the table, he opened the drawer that held all the letters he had found a few days before. _Sebastian Michaelis… Ciel Phantomhive… _he frowned. _Why were we writing letters to each other? Why didn't we just speak to each other outright?_

He opened an envelope addressed to Sebastian and read the contents. _Did I really write this? What did I mean by freedom? What was I depriving him of? _He stuffed the letter back into the envelope. _Why can't I remember? It's driving me crazy! Why can't I remember anything? Why did I have to forget all these important things? Why did this have to happen to me?_

Sebastian returned with a plate of chocolate cake and set it on the table before the Earl, who was clutching his head in his hands, his arm trembling with frustration and desperation. The butler touched his shoulder gently. 'Bocchan, don't worry too much. I'm sure you'll remember—'

'Tell me.'

Sebastian removed his hand. 'Pardon?'

'Tell me everything I need to know. Tell me who I am, what I do, _what_ I am, and _why_ this happened.' Ciel was shaking with rage. 'I can't stand it anymore. Not knowing about my history. Tell me _everything_, Sebastian. This is an order.'

'Bocchan, are you sure?'

'Just _tell me_!' Ciel slammed his fist onto the table. 'There's no guarantee I'll remember anything anyway! So just _spit it out_!'

Sebastian smirked at the familiarity of the situation. 'Yes, Bocchan.' He stood in front of the table as Ciel heaped the fork with a mouthful of chocolate cake and brought it to his mouth, a slight, blissful look crossing his boyish features before it disappeared and was replaced with seriousness.

'Your name is Ciel Phantomhive, and you are fourteen. You are born on the fourteenth of December.' Ciel's eyes widened but he didn't say anything. 'You lost your parents on your tenth birthday, due to a fire, which was a cause of intended murder.' He let Ciel realize the full intensity of the words and continued.

'And then you were captured and tortured.' Sebastian smirked. 'That was when you first called out to me. Your soul, that is. It was crying out in agony, and I was attracted to your pain. That was when you formed a contract with me, to avenge your parents. And I was supposed to have your soul after you have avenged your parent's deaths.'

'Who was the murderer?'

'It was the Queen.'

Ciel stood up roughly. 'Don't make things up, _demon_.'

Sebastian shook his head. 'You are becoming more like yourself, everyday, Bocchan. But it is the truth. It is the Queen. And she's now dead.'

Ciel sat back down shakily. 'Go on.'

'And it turned out, two _angels_ murdered your parents.'

'_What_?'

'I have already eliminated the murderers, and it was time for me to take your soul.'

'So why am I still here?'

'Well, Bocchan, that is because…'

'Well?'

'You soul was stolen from me.'

'_Stolen?_'

'Yes.'

'By?'

'By another demon. His name was Claude Faustus, and his contract was Alois Trancy.'

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><p><strong>AN: Sebastian tells Ciel about his past :D interesting… will he remember? Seems like Ciel doesn't remember anything at all :D please forgive me… I was busy and I was sort of addicted to Gintama… so I neglected Kuroshitsuji :D PLEASE REVIEW! I love you guys!~**


	7. Chapter 6

**It's really been a LONG time :D I'M SORRY! I haven't updated any of my fics for a very long time… can't help it, right :D I was training for my softball national championships T.T Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday and now they added in Saturday… but if things go well, the nationals will end next week :D COZ MY TEAM HAS ALREADY QUALIFIED FOR THE SEMIS! YAYY! *****sparkle sparkle* I hope we'll be able to get Champion :D don't wanna let down our seniors… :/ anyway I'm done babbling. Here (:**

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><p>'Alois… Trancy…?'<p>

'Yes, Bocchan. That is right.'

'Blonde hair…' Ciel frowned, squeezing his eye shut so tight it was painful to look at. 'Eyes… I can't remember…'

'Bocchan,' Sebastian placed a gloved hand on the boy's shoulder. 'Please try not to exhaust yourself. It's been a long time, and your memories have been jumbled and lost. They will return eventually so please get as much rest as you can, for now. I will help you in all possible ways.'

'You're a demon.'

Sebastian blinked at the blunt phrased. 'Pardon?'

'You're a demon,' Ciel stated. 'Everything is possible.'

_Bocchan, you're starting to return to who you used to be_. Sebastian gave Ciel a smirk. 'Of course, Bocchan.'

Ciel pondered over Sebastian's simple response, placing his chin in his hand, elbows resting on his legs, crossed over each other at the edge of the four-poster bed. His eyes were lidded, his mismatched orbs flashing in incomprehension.

_Bocchan… what are you thinking about?_

'So you'll do anything I order you to.'

'That is correct.'

'Then…' Ciel stopped, something holding his words back. He gave an annoyed sigh and closed his eyes, gritting his teeth, his blue-black bangs falling over his stunning-colored eyes like feathers over water.

'What is it, Bocchan?' _Why won't you trust me, like how you used to? _

'Nothing,' the Earl snapped. 'Leave.'

'Understood,' Sebastian bowed his head, standing up. He started to exit the room, but he felt a small hand fisted in his tailcoat. Startled, he turned around.

Ciel was facing the floor, but his trembling arm held tightly to Sebastian. He looked reluctant, but at the same time, he seemed to not be able to help himself.

'Bocchan…?'

'Tell me… how long I've been asleep.'

_Centuries, Bocchan. But how can I tell you that?_

'Almost… a year,' Sebastian said. 'Since last year's Christmas.'

'That's… a long time.'

_No, Bocchan. It isn't long at all. Compared to what you have truly been through, a year can barely penetrate the few centuries._

'Yes, it is. I'm glad you're awake now.'

Ciel released the fabric his fingers had clenched in. 'What happened… to Claude Faustus and Alois Trancy?'

'Alois Trancy had a new contract with another demon, and had his soul eaten. It was for the sake of joining his brother, who had a contract with the same demon, who wanted to reunite them.'

'And Faustus?'

'He… was killed. In a battle between two demons for a soul.'

'What kind of a soul would cause two demons to fight over it?' Ciel raised an eyebrow. 'Must be really special.'

'Very special, indeed. One of a kind; the rarest.'

'So who was the other demon?'

Sebastian froze. 'It was… me.'

'You?'

'Yes, my Lord.'

'Whose soul was it?'

'That would be, your soul.'

'Then, why am I still here?'

'The contract Alois Trancy had with the other demon,' Sebastian explained. 'It was to make your soul inaccessible to either of us, and so you were turned into a demon. With your rebirth as a demon, I could not have your soul.'

Ciel thought for a moment. 'Two demons were fighting,' he said slowly, looking at Sebastian. 'Two demons were fighting,' he repeated, 'to earn the right to… kill me.'

He didn't ask it as a question. He said it as a statement. As a fact.

'That is… not wrong,' Sebastian countered.

'Just what makes you demons want my soul so much?' Ciel sounded frustrated.

'The desperation,' Sebastian whispered, catching Ciel's attention. 'The mercilessness.' He turned around fully to face the boy, leaning in close. So close, Ciel could feel his breath fan over his cheeks, a feeling of danger overwhelming his senses, fear clouding in the atmosphere.

'Stay away,' Ciel managed to say without stuttering, but the demon paid no heed.

'The determination,' Sebastian murmured in Ciel's ear. 'Tinged with the slightest bit of hopelessness.'

'Stay. Away.'

'But most of all, the blackness of the revenge that has tainted your soul,' Sebastian moved away from Ciel. 'That is what attracts us.'

'Attracts…' Ciel's eyes were widening. 'That's the present tense.'

'Of course, your soul has not yet been taken,' Sebastian smiled. 'Which makes it possible for other demons to be drawn to you, now that you have been reborn as your past self; your soul is once again available.'

'My soul…'

'And Bocchan,' Sebastian leaned towards him again, holding his chin up with his slender gloved fingers to look into his crimson pools. 'Please remember, that you belong to me. Don't ever allow any other demon to lay hands on you.'

'I… don't belong to anyone!' Ciel slapped Sebastian's hand away, turning to the side, gritting his teeth in annoyance, slightly traumatized.

'No, Bocchan,' Sebastian turned Ciel back to face him, his dark red eyes glinting in danger. 'You belong to me. And might I add,' the demon smirked, 'I have a very, _very_, possessive personality.'

A faint rose hue dusted over Ciel's pale cheeks and he looked down. 'Shut up!'

'But Bocchan,' Sebastian chuckled. 'I'll be there whenever you call for me.'

'Of course you will! It's… it's your job!'

_Bocchan is still as adorable as always._

'Is there anything else that Bocchan needs?'

'You've been lying.'

Sebastian's eyes widened slightly, but he didn't deny it.

'You've been lying to me. I know. I just know it. What really happened? It doesn't feel like a year. It felt longer. And it doesn't seem like you were with me throughout the whole time. I remember feeling… alone.'

'Bocchan—'

'Why did you lie to me?' Ciel's blue eye was filled with so much anger it couldn't be contained. 'What is your purpose?'

'I did not wish to stress Bocchan out.'

'Well, I'm more stressed now!'

'I apologize.'

'Stop apologizing!'

'What would Bocchan request I do?'

'Why did you leave?'

'Pardon, Bocchan?'

Ciel glared hard at Sebastian, the anger in his eye melting into hurt. 'Why did you leave me alone somewhere… cold?

Sebastian felt as if someone had ripped the remains of the heart he had out of his chest and trampled all over it, before setting it afire with bitter blue flames.

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><p><strong>AN: How's it? :D Please review! I WANT 10 REVIEWS! :D *greedy* THANK YOU! REVIEW KAYS!  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 7

**Since I did promise I would update quickly if I get 10 reviews… -_- I'll be nice and write another chapter :D Considering I'm dead tired coz yesterday I ran 2.4 kilometers because of that stupid annual physical test and after that I had training until six and today's a damn Saturday but I had to wake up early for training too T.T I'm just too nice. I swear. And now my legs are just dying and in this month, I got hit by 4 pitches (one from a game and two from accidents in training and the last one Coach got pissed because I got two strikes on me and pitched at me T.T oww) and 1 bounce ball. PSHH. I'm just babbling. Don't mind me**** (:**

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><p>Sebastian didn't know what to say. His flawless portrayal of a perfect butler was cracking from the point Ciel's bullet of a question shot through.<p>

'Well? Answer me,' Ciel demanded. 'Sebastian.'

The demon remained silent and stoic.

The boy's fists were clenched, trembling, then he shut his eyes tight and turned away. 'Forget it. Leave me alone.'

'Yes, Bocchan.' Sebastian bowed with a hand to his chest and left the room before Ciel could tear him down with any more innocently wounding questions.

Ciel dropped his head into his hands. _My head hurts. There are so many things I want to know. There are so many things I want to hide from. There are so many things I want to know, but yet afraid to. _

But one fact remained strong in the storm of confusion. _I want to know who exactly Sebastian is._

Outside the window of Ciel's bedchamber, amidst the falling snow, a grin appeared on the face of a silver-haired shadow, eyes the most brilliant shade of lavender.

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><p>It was a cold night. The wintery feel of snow and ice, the force of merciless gusts of chilling wind and the fathomless black sky, dotted with the single spark of a single star so bright it depicted white.<p>

Ciel Phantomhive slid out from under his bedcovers. He was sick and tired and of staying in the room all day. But he hadn't made a move to exit the safety of his room. He had no desire to coincide in a meeting with the butler he so wanted to stay away from.

He pulled his socks up his leg and fumbled with a pair of boots, frustrated that the laces wouldn't seem to tie. Annoyed, he gave up and slipped his feet into another pair of teal green boots that he could just button up.

Reaching for his coat, he placed his arms into the sleeves, zipped himself up and walked out of the heavy wooden oak doors, tightening his eye patch at the back.

When he pushed open the mansion doors, a few droplets of rain from the light drizzle fell on his pale face.

_Snow and rain at the same time? How unlucky for me._

Ciel let the door go, and it clicked lightly when it shut. He walked down the wide concrete path of the mansion grounds to the garden, his attention drifting from flowerbed to flowerbed, and tree to tree, until he saw the gap in the dense woods he had so carelessly ran through and almost fallen of the cliff.

He remembered the way his lips moved on its own; the way his voice, in its desperation, called for Sebastian. He remembered how fast his heart was beating when he tripped. He remembered how terrified he felt while he freefell down the edge. He remembered the way the wind whipped in his face as the ocean surface rapidly approached.

He turned away from the woods and faced the mansion. It looked sad. It looked solitary. It looked so pitiful in the night. All the windows were dark; the brick walls were dull and grey, the weeds were crawling their way up the walls.

_How did this happen?_

The wind slashed at the boy, dwarfed in his clothes. He looked alone and disregarded.

Ciel gritted his teeth, refusing to feel self-pity. His pride overwhelmed his desire to feel loved.

_I just want to remember everything._

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><p>Sebastian stood at the window of the darkened mansion, watching his master standing in the wrath of nature.<p>

_Bocchan, you should honestly stop doing that. If the head of the Phantomhive household were to fall sick, what would we do?_

He gave a smirk of pure irony.

_The Phantomhive name has already been long forgotten in time. But Bocchan, you will always be an earl in my eyes. You will always be of great importance, even though you've told me to break the contract. You will always be my master._

Sebastian's eyes flashed in crimson concern.

_And even though you've forgotten everything, I have not forgotten anything about you._

Ciel crouched down in the middle of the path, body shaking with sobs, like a replay of the past.

The wind ripped the zipper of his cloak down and snatched the article of protection from his frail body, sending it hurling in the air, before settling on a branch, flapping in the snow like a flag of surrender.

The boy was shivering, his arms tight around himself. His white shirt was forcefully yanked from its tucked position in his shorts, joining the wild dance in the rage-filled night.

A cold, hard object fell onto Ciel's arm, bouncing off and shattering on the thinly snow-covered concrete.

The Young Earl opened his eyes as more of the fragile crystals shattered onto the ground.

He opened his palm and caught the crystals as they fell, wondering what they were.

And then he knew.

_My tears have been frozen into ice._

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><p>Sebastian's body ached to move towards the vulnerable figure in the middle of whirlwind of snow. He ached to shield the boy from everything that would hurt him. He ached to <em>protect<em> him.

He took a step towards the window, and hurled himself out of the metal-frame. He landed behind Ciel without a sound, and approached him.

His eyes lingered on Ciel's small back, and were diverted to the handful of crystals he was holding in his palm. His sharpness told him they were frozen teardrops.

Without warning, Ciel's hand lifted up, and he smashed his palm on the ground, the crystallized tears breaking into smithereens and melting back into liquid.

'Bocchan.'

The boy whirled around in instability, startled, gazing at the butler, standing unmoved in the disastrous weather. '…Sebastian.' _Why is he here?_

'May I suggest you return to the mansion?'

Ciel stared, speechless, at the normality of the demon's voice.

'Would Bocchan like some hot chocolate to warm you up after your… midnight walk?' the corners of Sebastian's mouth quirked. 'What do you think of that, Bocchan?'

Warmth stole into Ciel's frozen body, his eyes watering with fresh hot tears, streaking down his face.

Sebastian swiped the offending liquid from the boy's face with a silken handkerchief. 'Now, now, Bocchan. How unsightly.'

Ciel felt the sides of his mouth twitch, and tilt upwards. 'Ah, you're right.' He brushed past Sebastian, heading towards the mansion doors. 'I'll take on your offer of hot chocolate. And get me something sweet to eat while you're at it.'

Sebastian watched Ciel disappear behind the doors, and brought a hand to his chest, bowing slightly. 'Yes, my Lord.'

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><p><strong>AN: So how's it? :D PLEASE REVIEW! Okay, this time, I'd say… let's go for 20 reviews, and then I'll update, all right? :D Oh, and by the way, FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER IF YOU WANNA KNOW WHEN I'M UPDATING AND WHAT IM DOING IN LIFE! My username is 'EternallyGerrie'. Follow me! I think my bio says 'imma crazeh' haha :D I'm crazy after all, I guess. ANYWAY REVIEW THANK YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH :D**


	9. Chapter 8

**Hey guys. Im writing on 'notes' in my phone so i have to do manual html coding. Its really annoying but i learnt html codec before -_- but its so annoying. All right.. I shall try to survive this. For the sake of updating. You know the feeling when yiu have this bloody good idea, and want to get it out before you forget it? Yup thats me! There might be some typos and names might suddenly lose their capitals, coz i have no autocorrect. So, here it is... DARN THERE'S NO WORD COUNT! (oh btw i have NO idea how to add the html for a line break so the chappie starts when the words gets unbolded.) **

Ciel sat alone at the head of the long dining table. A tablebloth that radiated white covered the heavy oak surface, it's hems carefully embroidered with simple and insignificant patterns. A vase sat in the middle of the table, filled with red roses and purple blooms, their faint scent permeating the air.

The chandelier lit the big hall with a soft golden glow, casting light shadows on the walls. Ciel glanced down at the floor, scuffing the toe of his boots on the carpet that furnished the pale marble floors.

There was a muffled sound of boots walking on the thick carpet towards the boy, an he looked up to see his butler balancing a silver tray on one palm and pushing a cart with the other.

The demon gave a smile, his crimson orbs flashing. 'Bocchan.'

Ciel leveled his gaze, and then dropped it onto the tray. There was a plate of cookies and a slice of something resembling chocolate cake. On the top of the cart, a thermos pot was sitting in the middle, surrounded by five mugs. A white cloth covered the rest of the cart from his view.

'I have prepared chocolate chip cookies, a slice of buttermilk chocolate cake, and some hot chocolate.' Sebastian placed the items on the tray on the table in front of Ciel, and started to pour hot chocolate.

'There's chocolate cake _and_ hot chocolate?' Ciel was tempted to raise his eyebrow, but decided against it. _I don't want to give him the impression that I don't take things seriously. I don't want him to consider me a normal boy._

Sebastian noticed the slight twitch of Ciel's facial features, expecting a discriminating action of some kind. When the boy stopped himself, the demon felt a little bit more of him die inside. _Bocchan is treating me like a stranger._ 'If hot chocolate does not suit your tastes tonight, Bocchan, may I inquire your preference of beverage?'

'I want Earl Grey tea.'

'Yes, my Lord.' Sebastian tossed the cloth from the cart and revealed its once hidden contents. His deft, gloved fingers opened the lid of the tea tin and sprinkled the tea leaves into a teapot.

Ciel watched, blinking and surprised as his butler topped the pot with hot water, their steam rising up in translucent white curls. 'Why did you prepare that? Did you know that I was going to change my mind?'

'Of course,' Sebastian offered Ciel a smirk, tinged with amusement and slight arrogance. 'You do this quite often. You're quite the indecisive little Earl, aren't you, Bocchan?' the butler filled a delicate white teacup, flourished with rose petals at the side, and handed it to Ciel.

The boy gazed into the dark liquid, inhaling the soothingly familiar scent. As the tea slid down his throat, he saw an explosion of white behind his eyes and fragments of scenes rushed through his mind, accompanied by distinct voices which he recognized as his own, Sebastian's, and some other unknown syllables.

_ 'What is this scent? It's weak.'_

_'My apologies, Bocchan.' Sebastian bowed. 'It is an Italian tea, to suit the client's tastes. In Italy, there are few after-dinner teas, since they usually have coffee.' The butler's crimson eyes passed over his master. 'Would Bocchan like to request something different?'_

_'No. This is fine. You can go now.'_

_'Yes, my Lord.'_

Ciel jerked, the teacup dropping onto the table and the hot liquid staining the white tablecloth. The teacup rolled and teetered dangerously at the edge of the table. Some tea splashed onto his hand. 'Damn.'

'Bocchan?' Sebastian snatched the cup before it smashed onto the ground and checked Ciel's hand. 'Are you all right?'

'I'm fine! Don't touch me,' Ciel ripped his hand from the demon's gentle grasp and stalked out of the room. _I think I'm starting to remember..._

Sebastian stared after the boy, his expression slightly stunned.

'Bocchan... Has every scrap of me been erased from your memory?'

The shadow of the demon on the wall started to ripple, and two red, ruby glows melded into the place where the eyes should be.

'Bocchan... I am not to be easily forgotten. I will hunt down whoever is responsible for this...'

'...and I will paint their bodies with their own blood.'

**A/N: okay so its really really short im sorry. Its really tiring to type on my phone... And my results are really bad. I have till 28 Oct to keep my PHONE even i think. This is just a small 'thankyou' to all you supporters and hope you all wont ditch me :O please REVIEW okay? Your reviews always make my day brighter (: **


	10. Chapter 9

**Hi okay so i'm updating. YAY right? (Y) i can continue updating until January, where the real no-gadget-deadline starts T.T well anyways, that just means that i'll try to complete Entwined Paroxysm by January. So... expect frequent updates, but no promises coz inspiration doesnt just come like that. Anyway thank you everybody for always supporting me. Guess what? i have like 80 reviews now! i really hope i can hit 100 before i end this story. a 3 digit number will make my reviewing everybody! I LOVE YOU GUYS.**

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><p>Ciel was in the study when he heard a knock on his door. He looked up, almost expectantly.<p>

Sebastian pushed the heavy oak doors open, and rolled a teacart into the furnished room. 'It is late, Bocchan. Do you not wish to rest?'

'I can't sleep.'

'Then would Bocchan care for some hot chocolate, since you were not in the mood just now?'

Ciel glared at Sebastian, but glanced away. 'Shut up and do your work.'

Sebastian felt a smirk tug at the sides of his mouth. _At least Bocchan hasn't changed his attitude. As impolite as always._ 'Yes, my Lord.'

Ciel watched Sebastian fill a mug with chocolate, still steaming from the pot, and set it in front of him. The butler turned back to the cart and lifted the white cloth. An array of light appetizers stretched across the trays. The Earl's eyes widened.

'Would Bocchan prefer scones with jam, chocolate cake, raisin and nut cookies, or blueberry muffins with butterscotch?'

Ciel could not comprehend his butler's actions. He didn't know what to do. '…scones,' he stuttered, settling for the first option, deeming it the easiest.

Sebastian lobbed a scone onto the fragile plate hemmed with flowery lines of patterns and spooned jam at the side of the plate. 'Enjoy, Bocchan.'

'Yeah.' Ciel slathered jam over the scone and picked up a piece of it with the dessert fork, bringing it into his mouth.

'I suggest that Bocchan get some rest after this,' the demon bowed.

'I will decide what to do with my life. You don't interfere.'

'As you wish.' Sebastian glanced back a last time before pushing the cart out of the study, shutting the door with a soft click.

Ciel kept his gaze on the door, even long after Sebastian had left.

_I just want some answers._

He turned his chair around to face the window, before he felt his eyelids grow heavier, drooping and fading his vision into black.

Ciel Phantomhive fell asleep, into an ocean of confusing dreams and scattered memories.

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><p>'London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady.'<p>

He was enveloped in thick, rolling fog. An endless mile of white stretched behind and in front of him. The only solid ground he could depend on was the brick path beneath his boots, and the fog blurred even that.

'London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady.'

The ethereal echoes of the singing voice transformed the children's song into an eerie chant, and Ciel felt a shiver wind down his spine.

Where was he?

And where was Sebastian?

The lost boy wandered further to the front, and stopped when a faded black shadow approached him, slow and intimidating. His sapphire orb flashed, immediately wary, while he felt a distinct dull ache burning in his contract eye, intensifying as the silhouette grew bigger.

'London bridge is falling down…'

Ciel stared, confused. 'Who are you?' his voice was clear and composed, but there was a slight tremble in the confident tone.

The figure stopped walking, the umbrella it held twirled twice above its veiled face, and was lowered onto the ground, where it disappeared into the fog.

'Who are you?' Ciel stepped closer. 'What do you want? What are you doing here?' he paused, realizing that his questions were redundant, before settling on the one where he wanted the answer most. 'What am _I_ doing here?'

'Ciel Phantomhive,' the voice sounded female. It sounded like a young girl. 'The Queen's watchdog.'

'And you might be?' Ciel narrowed his blue eye.

'Whom you serve,' the girl answered.

The Earl frowned and tried to step closer, but a sudden whirl of wind swept the fog away, leaving them standing in a field of black roses. The brick path had vanished. Ciel steadied himself and looked up.

The gust of chilled air had stolen the girl's veil, revealing a child in a black dress and black gloves that reached her elbow. She had flowing grey hair and stunning green eyes the shade of emerald forests, tinged with the blue-green teal of a stormy sea in winter.

The girl eyes Ciel without apprehension. 'I am Queen Victoria.'

'Your Majesty?' Ciel was stunned. 'The Queen is a… girl?'

A streak of white exploded behind the boy's eyes as he was sucked into a vortex of flashing faces and sounds.

_Ciel burst into the cabin, blue eye closed with anxiety and crossed with wild desperation, panting. _

'_You are in quite a hurry.'_

_His attention was immediately drawn to the seat right at the back, beside the window, where a veiled figure wearing all black sat._

'_You…You're…'_

_The veiled figure turned to face him. 'Ciel. It's been quite long, hasn't it?'_

_Ciel felt his heart start to pound as he stepped back. 'Your Majesty?'_

_The cabin started to shake, and the boy felt himself being lifted upwards in the small car. He was alone. With the Queen._

_He watched the Queen turn to look out the window. 'Look at the view outside from here. Before the dawn of the new century, Europe will be changed. However,' the Queen looked pointedly at a part of the buildings. 'That area is stained.' She glanced at another part of the city. 'That part is stagnant.'_

_Ciel stared, transfixed, at the view outside, until the Queen turned back to him and pointed a gloved finger at his chest._

'_And it is dirty there.'_

_Shocked, his eyes widened. 'What?'_

'_Everything will need to be destroyed. Nothing can be formed without destruction.' The Queen's voice was rising. 'For the sake of a pure new century, we have decided to wipe out the Phantomhive name, which holds all the negativity of this country.'_

_At her last sentence, Ciel's body stiffened, and his eye flashed with a mixture of anger and fear. 'What…?'_

_Ciel followed the Queen as she skipped up the stairs of the Eiffel Tower. 'London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down…'_

Here is the one I've always been searching for.

'_May I ask you something?' Ciel stepped towards the Queen as she stood at the edge of the tower, gazing down._

'_Yes?'_

'_Why didn't you just kill us? Why did you have to make it look like such a tragedy?'_

'_Don't say it that way, Ciel,' the Queen had a tinge of laughter in her voice. 'That was purification.'_

'_Purification?' Ciel was outraged. 'Do you call looking down on the deceased purification?'_

'_We looked down on them?' the Queen cocked her head to the side, seemingly confused. _

'_You did!'_

'_Looking down…?' Ciel watched the Queen bow her head, sincere apology lacing her voice. 'We should have at least visited their graves. The Phantomhives were such loyal servants after all.'_

'_What are you—' _

_Ciel's retort was cut off by a gust of wind. The veil covering the Queen's face swirled into the air._

_As she looked up, Ciel saw a bundle of long gray hair, and tears flowing from her deep, emerald eyes. _

_She was a young girl._

_A sound of laughter stole his attention and Ciel spun around to see a man dressed in white, like a butler, complete with lavender eyes and silver hair._

_The Queen's butler sat on the ornament of the Eiffel Tower, smiling at Ciel._

Ciel was sucked into the black vortex and spat back out onto the field of black flowers, now turned white, and stained with the redness of blood.

_That butler…_

Ciel felt dread burdening on his chest. 'The angel…'

'Oh, you mean Ash?'

Ciel looked up at the girl, which from his memory, he knew was the Queen.

'Your Majesty…'

The girl smiled. 'It's been a long time, hasn't it, Ciel?'

And the features of the girl started to morph as her body stretched taller, and became thinner.

Ciel watched with growing horror as the figure completed its transformation.

'Isn't it, Ciel Phantomhive? It's been a couple hundred of years.' The velvet voice wrapped around Ciel and the iciness seeped into the boy's skin as he shivered.

'Ash.'

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><p><strong>AN: i think this is where the story actually starts. or maybe, the climax. Yup. please review! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! i really love reading your comments, they just make my day. it gives me the feeling of people actually reading my fanfic (: like you know, it doesnt make me feel like im writing for nothing. coz your reviews just keep me going, motivation to continue. (: so please REVIEW! thanks (Y) oh and btw have you seen my kuroshitsuji oneshot? it's called Ten Seconds of Lies. you can find it in my profile (:**


	11. Chapter 10

**Finally got the inspiration to write the next chapter :D haha i recently wrote a Naruto oneshot for Itachi and Sakura. I think part of the ending is bloody sad ._. Yeah. ANYWAY IF YOU KNOW WHO THOSE TWO ARE PLEASE READ IT AND REVIEW :D And i hope you like this chapter. Hahaha in my part of the world, the time now is 2.50a.m. appreciate me. and review :D**

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><p>A small flicker of surprise stained the cold lavender eyes and the side of the angel's mouth quirked up in an amused smirk. 'Ah. You remember me.'<p>

Ciel's breathed hitched at the familiar voice—soothing but smoothly threatening. 'Why are you here? Why am I here? What do you want? Where am I? Answer me.'

'You sure do ask many questions,' the angel stepped forward on the crumbling pathway where they stood as Ciel stumbled backwards with every one of his forward steps.

'I want the answers to those questions.' Ciel's tone was leveled and calm, but inside he was a plethora of fear and ice. Here was the one who had been trying to purify him, to _kill_ him. The one who had supposedly had his wings torn off and guts pulled out by Sebastian. But he was standing in front of him now, with a confident smile and flawless features, as if the past had never existed.

Ash studied the boy's cracking façade and laughed darkly. 'It's not over, Ciel Phantomhive.'

_What's not over? What's he talking about?_ 'Wait—'

But the angel was already gone.

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><p>His eyes snapped open and Ciel lifted his head off the desk of his study, feeling a single drop of cold sweat trail down the side of his forehead. 'What the hell just happened…'<p>

He stood up and his chair made a muffled sound as it was pushed back over the thick carpet. He took the few steps to the window and pushed the glass open, leaning outside, letting a small whisper of the cold night breeze filter in.

He shivered and looked up. The moon stared back at him menacingly. Glancing at the clock on the wall, it was only around five in the morning, and he was feeling tired and drained. But he couldn't fall back asleep again.

After he convinced himself that what happened had been a dream, he was quite sure he didn't want Ash invading his head while he was sleeping.

'What might Bocchan be doing now?'

In a moment of shock, Ciel whirled around to the door, where the demon stood, slightly bowed, his crimson eyes studying the boy's face with the slightest hint of concern, which Ciel could not detect.

'What are _you_ doing here, at this time!'

'I felt Bocchan's unease and thought I should check on you. If everything is fine, I should take my leave now.' The butler attempted to exit the room.

'Sebastian!'

The demon stopped and turned back to the Earl. 'Is anything the matter?'

'I want tea.'

A smirk played on Sebastian's lips as he bowed again. 'I understand.'

Ciel didn't relax his rigid posture until the butler had completely left the room, and he turned back to the window, pulling it close. Settling back in his chair, he cracked the drawer of his desk open and placed the pile of envelopes inside the compartment onto his table, like a small mound of parchment papers.

One by one, he opened the envelopes and scanned the contents. He recognized the handwriting, but he definitely did not recognize the words on them. They made no sense, and it made him feel like he was reading someone else's life story. Even he could tell that the raw emotion in those words, packed in those thin lines, was big, and he didn't understand why the connection between the boy in the letters and his butler was so deep.

_He's just a servant… but the _me_ before doesn't seem to think so._

There was a knock on his door before it opened to reveal Sebastian with a silver food tray. The butler noticed the pile of envelopes but decided not to show any comments lest a raise of the eyebrow, before he set the cup in front of Ciel and filled the fragile porcelain with the dark, fragrant liquid.

'This is English Breakfast tea, Bocchan. Would you like some muffins as accompaniment to the beverage?'

'No. I'm fine.'

The butler stood by the side as he sipped the tea and stared at the letter he had opened in front of him. He looked up at Sebastian. 'Do you remember this?'

'Yes, Bocchan. I believe you wrote them.'

'Why did I write this?'

The question caught Sebastian off guard and he blinked, slightly stunned. 'I think it's best if you find out the reason yourself, Bocchan.'

'Do you know who Ash is?'

At that, a streak of fluorescent violet flashed in the demon's eyes and he took one step closer to the boy. 'Why does Bocchan wish to know?'

'You know who he is,' Ciel looked away as he confirmed the fact for himself.

'Is there any particular reason why Bocchan would like to know?'

'He's back.'

Sebastian felt the temperature in the room get lower. 'Bocchan?'

'He was in my dream. I saw Her Majesty. She was telling me about purifying the world while we were in the lift up the Eiffel Tower. She was telling me about how she was the one to kill my parents.' Ciel held a look of genuine confusion on his face. 'I don't understand. Why did she call us the countries worst points? Were my parents really killed?' he looked pointedly at Sebastian. 'I still don't really understand why you're here. How did you come about, I'm still not sure.'

'Calm down, Bocchan.' Sebastian placed a gloved hand over the letter Ciel was reading, catching his attention. 'What did you mean by Ash-san being in your dream?'

'He told me it wasn't over.'

'Ash-san did?' Sebastian frowned. 'He's finally finished regenerating, has he?'

'Regenerating?'

'Ash-san is an angel. No matter how serious their injuries get, they don't die because they're immortals. I may have ripped out his wings and gutted him, but if he is given a couple of centuries, they will regenerate, and it will be as if nothing has happened to him.'

'He has completed his regeneration,' Ciel realized. 'And now he wants revenge.'

'I think you might be right, Bocchan.'

'Sebastian.' Ciel stood up. 'I'm tired, I'm going to rest.'

'Of course,' the butler followed the Earl to his bedchamber and helped him to get dressed into his nightshirt, tucking him in.

Holding the candelabra, Sebastian stood up and headed for the door.

'Sebastian.'

'What's wrong now, Bocchan?'

'Stay with me until I fall asleep.'

Sebastian's eyebrows raised, the phrase triggering a memory from the past. 'Oh? Is Bocchan showing his vulnerable side to me?'

'Shut up,' Ciel grunted, annoyed. 'It's an order.'

With a small chuckle, Sebastian returned to the bedside and knelt on one knee, putting his gloved hand to his chest. 'Yes, my Lord.'

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><p><strong>AN: okay, so i think that was kind of cute :D Ciel and Sebastian^^ awwwwww :D *spazz* please reviewww. I wanted this fic to have 90 reviews before i updated, but then, see, it's not 90, but im updating :D im so nice :D anyway please review! my new goal: by the time this fic ends, i hope i get 100 reviews :D THANK YOU. its my motivation to live :D (just being dramatic now) anyway JUST REVIEW :D**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hi I'm back with another chapter. It might not make a lot of sense right now, but trust me, we've reached the climax of this story.**

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><p>Silver hair and startling lavender eyes stayed hidden by the window of the Earl's mansion, silently laughing at the boy who was asleep through the thick curtains. <em>The time will soon come.<em>

'Ash-san, it's been a long time.'

Startled, the angel turned around to see the demon clad in butler's attire standing a few feet away, his crimson gaze tinged with suspicion and dangerous politeness.

'Ah, if it isn't the demon butler.' Ash flashed a full grin and placed his hands on his hips. 'Still as unclean as ever. I hope you appreciate me for cleansing your master.'

Sebastian's eyes narrowed. 'So it was you.' His crimson orbs flashed fluorescent violet in the moment of uncontrolled anger, and stepped forward. 'It was you who took away Bocchan's memories. Why did you do it?'

Ash laughed, a clash between amusement and triumph. 'I merely gave the boy back his innocence, in return for your enthusiastic ripping out of my wings. What's with the ungrateful attitude, Sebastian Michaelis?'

'I never asked for it,' Sebastian let the hiss leave his lips, insides starting to heat up. He was about to strangle the angel and rip his wings out again, but he stopped himself. He needed to make sure. 'You returned Bocchan his humanity. You erased his memories. You must have a motive, I assume?'

'You're a sharp one,' Ash observed his fingers as he spoke in nonchalance. 'I must admit that I turned Ciel Phantomhive back to a human boy in his teenage years. And it was also I who made him forget.' The angel's eyes lifted up to penetrate into the demon's. 'And I expect you don't understand why.'

'The only reason why I'm asking,' Sebastian answered calmly, while impatience raged in his eyes.

'I need him as a clueless boy. His soul is white and pure, but his body and mind are too dirty, too contaminated, and I can't have that. I need him innocent, and clean. Since the Queen was too much of a coward to cleanse _every_ impurity of the world, I couldn't use her anymore. Why?' Ash turned to the window and stroked the cold glass. 'Love. Reminiscence. Queen Victoria couldn't let her husband go, even though he was the impurity in her. Ciel Phantomhive, however,' the angel tapped his fingertips against the window. 'He is different. He doesn't care for all these little feelings. He is perfect. If I can convince him to purify the world with me, he will do it, and he will not let these emotions like,' Ash cringed, '_love, _stop him.'

'You want to use Bocchan,' Sebastian realized, and fury surged in him. 'I will not let you have Bocchan. He is mine. His soul belongs to me. You will not take it away from me. I won't let it go a second time.'

'Oh?' Ash smirked. 'Who was the one you gave you back the chance to relish Ciel Phantomhive's soul? Would you be able to make a new contract without him being turned back into a human?'

'How?' Sebastian's voice was hoarse. 'How did you do it?' he felt pathetic, asking advice from the enemy, but he needed to know.

'And I don't see why I should let you know, demon,' Ash laughed softly as he turned and strolled into the snow.

Sebastian watched soundlessly as the angel spread his wings and lifted into the sky, before turning back to the window of Ciel's bedchamber.

_I won't let him slip away one more time_.

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><p>'Sebastian, I want something sweet.'<p>

The butler glanced at the clock and looked back at Ciel, who was seated at his study desk, frantically looking through the letters he had supposedly written.

'Bocchan? It's almost time for your evening meal. Why don't you just wait a little longer?'

'Just get me cake or something.'

'It would ruin Bocchan's appetite.'

Ciel looked up and threw Sebastian a glare. 'Whatever. I want tea.'

'Understood.' Sebastian bowed slightly and exited the room, a small smile playing at the side of his lips.

When he returned, he saw Ciel staring at a letter like he'd seen a ghost. He jumped in his chair when Sebastian opened the door, dropping the sheet of parchment on the carpeted floor. His sapphire eye was wide in disbelief and there was a streak of fear in them.

Sebastian placed the tea tray on the study desk and leaned in towards Ciel. 'Bocchan, what's wrong?'

'How old am I, Sebastian?'

Sebastian blinked in surprise. 'Bocchan, you've just turned fourteen.'

'Don't lie to me, Sebastian.'

_Did he find out?_ 'What is it, Bocchan? What happened?'

Ciel stood up abruptly from his chair and grabbed the letter off the floor so fervently the paper creased. He slammed the paper on the top of the wooden desk so hard the table rattled and the porcelain on the tea tray vibrated.

'Look at this,' he growled. 'Look at the date. This letter was written more than a hundred years ago. More than two hundred years ago. How do you explain this? Are you sure this was written by me?'

'Bocchan, let me explain—'

'Shut up. Since you're a demon, do you find it enjoyable to whisper lies in my ear? Do you find it fun to toy with humans? Do you think it's fair for us?'

'Bocchan, wait—'

'You let me finish!' Ciel was shaking. He crushed the letter in his fist and hurled it at the wall, where it bounced off and rolled onto the carpet. 'I want you to tell me everything. I want you to tell me the _truth_. I want to know what the _hell_ happened to my memories, and why am I fourteen when I'm supposedly over two hundred years old. I want to know exactly _who_ you are, and _who_ I am, and just _who_ Ash is.' Ciel shoved Sebastian in the chest. 'I want to hear it _now._'

'Bocchan, please calm down.' Sebastian reached out to the boy, but Ciel slapped his hand away.

'Don't touch me!'

Sebastian withdrew his hand and stepped backwards.

'What? You can't tell me the truth?' Ciel's blue eye narrowed, and then widened. 'What the—'

Sebastian turned around.

Ash was leaning against the heavy oak doors of the study, smirking at them. 'It seems like it's time for the truth to be revealed, don't you think?'

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><p><strong>AN: Hi, please review! I know I'm reaching a hundred reviews, once it hits the triple digit, my life will be complete! :D thanks! I'll update soon, maybe sooner if I get more reviews! :D so please review, thank youuu (:**


	13. Chapter 12

**Hello. Life has been hectic, that's why I haven't updated in five lifetimes, but I hope you haven't gotten sick of me or forgotten me yet... Here's the next chapter. The real stuff is coming soon (:**

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><p>Ciel blinked from Ash to Sebastian, confusion hazing over his blue eye. 'What is the meaning of this?' he stepped towards Sebastian and shoved at his chest. 'Sebastian! Are you acquainted well with this angel?'<p>

'Bocchan, I am by no means "acquainted" with Ash-san.' Sebastian measured his chances of getting slapped away and took two steps towards Ciel. 'He is toying with you, Bocchan. You musn't believe anything he will tell you.'

'I want to know,' Ciel breathed, ignoring every words Sebastian had just said, 'who you are. What happened between us, and why I can't remember anything. I want to know why you're involved in this. Why _I'm _involved in this.'

'Ah, Ciel Phantomhive. You seem so eager. Let me first ask you a question,' Ash gave a sickly grin. 'Do you remember your parents?'

Ciel's face scrunched up as he tried to remember. 'My… parents?'

'_Will you read me a story before I go to bed?'_

'_Of course, Ciel. It's your birthday after all.'_

'_Can I sleep with you tonight?'_

'_Of course.'_

_And then everything passed in a blur, and Ciel could feel heat assaulting his fragile, pale skin. It burned into his face and sweat dripped from his chin as he ran along the flaming corridors._

'_Mother! Father!'_

_The boy in his memories was desperate, afraid. He was scared and lonely. A door was thrown open as Ciel stared through a fiery doorway, searing heat causing his skin to blister and split. _

_Wings. White feathered wings. A radiantly glowing woman with white-feathered wings and silver hair stood over his parents. She looked up, and gave the boy a kindly smile, her lavender gaze holding a mixture of sinister comfort._

_She spun the chair around and Ciel saw the horror. His parents' faces. Crudely stitched together, their mouth cruelly sewn into a grotesque smile. A permanent dead smile._

_And he screamed as rough arms grabbed at him from behind, dark laughter echoing in his ringing ears as a blow knocked him out._

Ciel gasped as the vivid images coursed through his mind. 'You…' he recognized the silver hair and lavender smirk. He could match Ash's features with the woman's almost completely. 'You killed my parents… no,' a flash of realization blinked into his eyes. 'Your counterpart Angela killed them. And stitched their faces together.'

'So do you remember now, Ciel Phantomhive?'

'I do.'

'They were unclean, doing dirty, evil things from the recesses of the country. They needed to be purified.'

'Don't talk shit to me. They were perfectly honorable people.'

'They were not, don't fool yourself.'

Ciel glared and turned to Sebastian. 'Affirm the situation.'

Sebastian looked at Ciel for a few moments and nodded. 'Yes, My Lord. Where would you like me to start?'

'I believe I used to be a demon.'

'Yes. You were reborn as a demon by Hannah Annafellows, upon the contract Alois Trancy signed with her.'

'But I'm human now.'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Your butler cannot tell you that,' Ash gave a low chuckle. 'But I can.'

'Then spit it out.'

'Have you forgotten how I'm an angel?'

Both Master and butler stared at the angel without comprehension.

'I can strip impurities from a soul, easily.' Ash pointed at Ciel, 'even though you had been turned into a demon, you were human once, and your soul still exists, although trapped in your immortal body, useless and quivering.

'Anything accomplished by a demon is classified as an impurity, and I have the power to strip it. Wondering why I took so long?'

Ash turned to Sebastian with a mocking smile. 'Your butler ripped out my wings. And until they grew back, I had to wander in the depths of Hell as a fallen angel. How filthy that place was. Soot and coal and fire, and sin. It reeked of sin.'

'It happens to be my dwelling place,' Sebastian countered smoothly.

'But it isn't mine,' Ash said, and turned back to Ciel. 'And that's exactly what I did to you. I ripped the contract to shreds, and sent you back in an individual time-warp, that brought you, and only you, back to the time where you were human, without memories of demons and contracts, in your current body. I revived your soul.'

A heavy silence permeated the stiff atmosphere while Ash started to frown, his demeanor slowly turning angry. 'You weren't supposed to remember _anything_. Nothing. You weren't supposed to even have flashbacks.' He stuck an accusing finger at Ciel. 'But you did. You remembered. You could feel the familiarity you weren't supposed to have even experienced.'

Ciel took a step back as Ash stalked closer to him, still angry.

'How can you have such a deep bond with a bloody _demon_, Ciel Phantomhive. They are the very object of impurity. Of filth, and yet you associate with them. How can you do that?'

'It's not for you to dictate whom I form a bond with.'

'Can't you see that you would be much better off with the light than in the shadows?'

'He could give me what I wanted,' Ciel shouted. 'But you can't.'

Sebastian watched the Earl in wonder. _He remembers._

'When I was on the brink of death, I called for help. To anyone, anyone at all. It wasn't you who appeared to me and offered me help. It was a demon. It wasn't you who killed those men torturing me—it was the demon. It wasn't you who served me as a butler through the years—it was Sebastian. You didn't offer to help me seek vengeance, to take revenge on the ones who sullied the Phantomhive name, because it was you who did it.' Ciel was breathing hard, determined to finish his rant. 'It wasn't you who stood by me and supported me all these time—it was Sebastian.'

Ash gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. 'Ungrateful brat…'

'So why should I follow you? Why should I join the light? You're all just a bunch of feathered creatures obsessed with purity, and kill just because you think it's not pure enough. You use people without consent and discard them just as effortlessly. Why should I be like that? I want to live the way I want. Not right, not wrong, just how I want to live.'

'I'll ask you one more time, Ciel Phantomhive,' Ash's voice was even, controlled but dangerous. 'Choose again, carefully.'

Ciel tossed a careless glance towards Sebastian. 'This is an order: stay my butler until I regain my memories… and I want you to defeat the angel, and make sure he'll never regenerate again.'

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><p><strong>AN: Mostly dialogue and recovering of memories here... There's going to be a huge ass battle coming up (: Please review! I need to know very desperately if my writing skills have deteriorated... I might have started making this story boring.. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Hey guys im kind of stuck, so this chapter is probably going to be all weird and stuff, dont judge me! :O haha i just ate fries, so i feel happy. Sorry i took such a long time! I hope you havent forgotten me yet! This chapter is dedicated to my dear Genevieve (known in as AccioErised). Here it is! It's almost there!**

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><p>The anger completely contorted Ash's face.<p>

What once used to be a pale, angelic face was twisted into the most hideous downturned smile. The light shade of lavender that ringed the angel's eyes darkened in hatred and narrowed into slits.

"Ciel Phantomhive," the suave turned hoarse voice hissed. "You will regret this."

"Even if I would, it's too late. Once I make a decision, I will live with it, be it I feel regretful or not." The boy regarded Ash coolly, his sapphire eye not showing a single sign of fear from a few minutes before. He turned to the butler. "Did I not give you an order?"

The corner of the demon's lips twitched upwards in amusement. His Bocchan was starting to return to him, bit by bit. The Bocchan whose soul he had painstakingly raisedー it was slowly coming back. Sebastian could almost taste the exquisite fragrance of tainted innocence that emitted from Ciel. "You did."

Ciel gave Sebastian a wary glare. "I reckon you forgot to say something."

Sebastian dutifully knelt down on one knee and placed the gloved contract hand to his chest, ignoring the seething angel. "Yes, my Lord."

"What will you do?" Ciel demanded.

"I will be Bocchan's butler," Sebastian took his time to give Ash a casual onceover. "Until the angel has been destroyed to the extent where the possibilities regeneration is beyond his ability."

"Fancy words," Ciel scoffed.

"No worries, they will be achieved through fancier actions."

"Dirty," Ash rasped at the pair. "Impure. Stained. Polluted." As the angel chanted, his voice turned dual. "Disgusting."

In a flurry of falling feathers, wings exploded from the silver haired angel's back, breaking through his suit. When Ash lifted his face, Ciel noted that his lavender orbs flashed fluorescent violet and the signs of an angel was gone. His mouth curled into a mocking grin.

Something was not right. Ciel continued to stare at Ash, rummaging through what little memories he posessed, as the winged creature took slow, languid steps towards the Earl.

When realization struck harder than lightning, Ciel whirled around to Sebastian, who had an expression of extreme concentration and slight confusion.

"Sebastian!"

The demon turned to Ciel. "It seems that Ash-san is no longer a pure angel."

"I can see that. His wings are black!"

The feathers were darker than the color of burning charcoal, likewise dimly lit with the dying embers of a heated fire. When the angel flexed them, ash surrounded the air around them, carrying in their wake a thin swirl of smoke and the stench of cinnamon tinted forest wood.

Master and butler watched the approach of what was supposed to be an angel with an eerie sense of panicked calm.

"What could have happened?" Sebastian mused. "This is a demon-angel hybrid."

"Demon-angel hybrid?"

"They are angels who have fallen to low to ever be invited back into heaven, neither are they allowed to roam Earth."

"What can they do?"

"They have the abilities of an angel, but the mindset of a demon. They prove to be unmatched in murdering. Over time, their angelic advantage will fade, but Ash-san seems to be a newborn." Sebastian slid the glove off the contract hand and turned to Ciel. "Bocchan, this might be dangerous for you. They can be skilled in manipulation of humans."

Ciel wasn't listening. Already, he could feel the pressure on his chest from inhaling the smallest of breaths. He staggered backwards but continued to stay on his feet.

"Bocchan?"

"Can't... Breathe..."

"Calm down, Bocchan. It's a manipulation of the mind. Take deep breaths, don't look into his eyes."

Ciel shut his sapphire eye, but not before he connected one more time with Ash's cold stare. A streak of burning pain shot into his head through his eye, his skull nearly imploding from the sudden mental assault.

He let out out a strangled half gasp, half yell and collapsed onto the ground, pressing his forehead against the cold marble, willing the merciless throbbing to go away.

Just when he thought the pain was subsiding, a light exploded in the middle of his consciousness and he gave another yell.

Images. People. Voices. Feelings. They all swirled around his disorientated mind, becoming a maelstrom of insistent buzzing. It hurt.

His heart felt like it was about to be torn into pieces by the mixed feelings filling up the gaping spaces. It felt heavy. It hurt.

"Bocchan!"

"Don't think he can hear you, Sebastian Michaelis," Ash drawled. "I'm giving him back all his memories, since that was what he wanted."

"What are you planning?"

"I plan to suffocate him by his kwn pain. Memories are a burden. After being so free of this burden for such a long time, his body will no longer to get used to the weight they carry."

Ash smirked, enjoying the carefully masked though obvious distress on Sebastian's face over his disability to help his Young Master. "The only way to save the boy," Ash whispered mockingly, "is to defeat me, a newborn angel-demon hybrid."

Sebastian's eyes sizzled fluorescent violet. "You'll regret you ever got yourself involved with a Phantomhive and his demon butler."

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><p><strong>AN: Chapter's done! How is it? Sorry I keep stalling at the beginning of the fight. But next chapter! Its gonna to kickass. I know its been a long time! Please review so that i will be encouraged as I am currently brainstorming ways to have an angel-demon hybrid and a pure demon fight. Gotta admit those wings are cool, right? :D PLEASE REVIEW!**


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